This poem is about a young girl, around 16 years of age telling us what her mind is like as she is going through depression and anxiety. It is describing the outlook she has on life and what the writer is going through and all the challenging thoughts that you can experience going through the mental illness of depression as a teenager.
This poem emphasises the theme of loneliness, depression, and fear amongst anyone, not only teenagers. There is no supportive text within the poem that suggests that it is only aimed towards the thoughts of teenagers. The theme of loneliness explored by stanza 2 “ Ready to cry to the world and wonder if anyone will understand my tears.” The words cry and anyone represents the theme of loneliness, by stating what one does in private. “Biting my tongue for others because of the fear of being alone”, also explores loneliness by telling us she is scared of being alone and by herself if she opens up to other about how she really feels, as she doesn’t want to express her thoughts and feelings in fear of being judged. The theme depression is also explored by using the word lost 3 times within the poem.
- “Lost in the confusion of my mind”
- “Lost with no way out”
- “Lost in my own confusion”
The word lost helps us get the feeling of being trapped and having no control over her feelings and how to escape the negative feelings of depression. The word suicide reflects the desperation that depression brings and it’s the final resort to take away the stress and hateful thoughts about oneself. She sounds sad and desperate with the last line summing up her thoughts perfectly – a cry for help, “Someone rescue me before I drown”. The language feature of personification used in the line saying “Held captive by my own fears and insecurities”, helps paint a picture in the reader’s mind of being trapped in her mind of swirling thoughts of negativity, trying to escape.
This relates to the real world as many people ranging in ages go through some kind of depression and the poem helps spreads the light and shows others what it is like going through depression. Depression is a common problem throughout many ages – it does not discriminate, ANYONE can suffer from depression worldwide, from any source, caused by financial, health, stress illness, or social pressures. Everyone in the world has these emotions stated in the text – “Caught up in my emotions of love & lust, joy and pain” and “the ups and downs, the tears and smiles”. This listing emphasises the large amount of emotion that one can feel.
This text teaches me that the society that we live in is very judgmental towards individuals that suffer from mental illnesses. The first line in the last stanza “Afraid to take off my mask because of the judgment that lies ahead” highlights the previous statement. This line should teach us that we should not judge others. The first line in stanza four, “Praying that someone can love me for me” also highlights how easily society can judge others for being themselves. Individuals feel as if they must live up to the full expectations of society such as altering beliefs, values and behaviours. Pressures from society may restrict you to doing things you want and to and to make you feel not dignified/proud about yourself, lowering your self-esteem. There is a relationship between depression and quality of life.
My viewpoint towards this poem is that people should not hold judgement others on their morals, values, beliefs, appearance and mental stability. It’s okay for people to have opinions, but when those opinions start to affect other in a negative way. This can lower individual’s self-esteem that could possibly lead on to depression and suicide. Patterns of behaviour generally start at a young age thinking that negative actions are acceptable, and growing up continuing to do so is the right thing. But is not the right behaviour acceptable in society or interacting with peers, friends etc. A change in thought patterns and behaviour is required to be kind to one another. Also writing thoughts down on paper, either journal, diary, poems etc helps.
I would recommend this text to others, as the writer is expressing her feelings about a very common issue in society. Her words may help others believe that they are not alone in how they feel or how others perceive them. Words are a very powerful weapon, so be mindful in what you say. If people were kind to one another, the world would be a different place.
Lost in the confusion of my mind
Looking for a way out
Held captive by my own fears and insecurities
Caught up in my emotions of love & lust, joy & pain
Ready to cry to the world and wonder if they understand my tears
Always keeping my head bowed too afraid to see my future
Afraid of hurt & pain that awaits me
My heart is filled with rage & desire for someone I can’t have
Biting my tongue for others because of the fear of being alone
Compromising for everyone else but getting nothing in return
Wondering why life is such a bitch but loving everything about it
The ups and downs; the tears and smiles
Praying the someone can love me for me
Regretting all the things that I’ve done in my past to bring pain to others
Lost with no way out
Thanking God for letting me see another day but ready to write My Suicide Note because of the pain I’ve endured
Afraid to take off my mask because of the judgment that lies ahead
Lost in my own confusion
Someone rescue me before I drown